questioning questioning

is it ok
to be fine down here
among the shadows?

this isn’t rocket science
i don’t write in parables
it’s almost laughable
the way we try to disect life
and little images
much more than a 1000 words i’ve written here
and it’s gotten me so many places

but it’s still down here
it still hasn’t changed much
it’s the reason
we don’t want to hear about love
we want to hear the crack in your voice
the split in the spine
yeah,
that’s what gets you off

and i don’t want to say
that i’m powerful
that i’m scary
that i’m scaring
the shit
out of myself

i don’t want to hear about your fancy cars
and your limousines
i want to hear about your inconsistencies
the lines between your eyes

i want to watch you cry.

and i don’t want to ask
if my caves ok
because i know what you’ll say.

so i’ll pull the mast up towards the boat
and i won’t watch for it to float
but i’ll wait for it to sink

but

i feel you

but i can’t keep you and me too

bang.

i find the more i’m built up,
the more i shoot myself down.

you

i don’t have
control
of myself.

not the same girl

when i’m talking to strangers
i make up lies about my personality
because if they’re going to try to put me in a box,
i’m going to let them.