Poetry

control

make no mistake i’ve always been in control
that’s what hurts the most
and feels the best
that i’m so much better
than the rest

it’s no use
trying to get it back, it’s gone
it’s no use
trying to make me weak, i’m strong
It’s no use
putting me down, i don’t stay down long

not the same person I was yesterday, or even today
digging me up takes so long
only to go under again
is it so hard to stay in one place?

see me with your eyes closed
listen with your mouth shut
there’s no better time to
take back in control

Poetry

Unfinished

did i get to the heart of it
has the end already started?
self aware but at what cost
alone but for how long
does it ever get better than this?

looking for myself so why do i hide
trapped in the mirror but on which side
got two guns and one bullet that says bite

Poetry

Trying

I hate these words
Always too many and never the right ones
Wish i could speak in riddles like i used to
God knows all my pieces are still scattered,
another wish that was just shattered,
Couldnt tell you who i am now that
Ive been gone for so long

Poetry

27

tried to keep it but it left me again
another reminder i forgot to forget
asleep on the road but its only been a thousand years or so
asleep or awake, does it matter, i still never know
who i am these days
what goes and what stays
its all a little bit over my head
a line i missed, a beat i skipped
on the tip of your tongue
and always just a little better when you were young

Poetry

a spark, – a soul

give me a heart to feel
A soul to heal
I
Let you back in again
I
Dreamt about you again
Hate you but you won’t leave
Put some metal to the heat
I’ll
Open you up just to spill some light in
Pour you out just to cleanse the night with
Teach it to stay and it’ll leave
Teach it to die and it’ll breathe
You just don’t know how to
Put those ashes out for good

Poetry

life

all these words are so old
i just come and i go
slipping through like a ghost

do i need to hurt myself just to feel?
i’ve been some places but was any of it real?
i can’t find myself in the ashes
of all that i was

all that i was
was a hole in the floor
an unlocked door

you think you have it then its gone
you think you need it but you dont
if im dead and im gone
dig me up just to bury me
uncover all there ever was
come back to me

Poetry

death

s-s-save me cause
I’m bottoming out of emptiness
Lying, keeping, hiding myself away
I try to go but I stay
Or stay but I go

Somewhere unknown, a distant star
The place I left my heart
All those years ago
I left you behind but I still don’t know

If I can keep going on this way, alive but alone
I just want to feel something
other than this
Be something other than me
So small but so big
I end where I begin
A blank empty page with nothing on it
A lie I never told
A word I never spoke
Undoing all there ever was to me
What’s left but a soul, if there ever was one, I know there was one but where did it go?

Did you take it with you, in the shadow of your heart, an ode to the dark
you took a part of me but i let you, maybe i left it?

And I just want to let it back in

Poetry

hello, again

I wish you could hit me so maybe I could feel
A fire or a spark or a soul
There’s a beat underneath
A note I could hold if only I could just
Let myself go
Dive inside
There’s worlds yet to be uncovered
And I’m just getting started