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you want to
talk
to me?
you want to
fuck
with me?
mess with me
call me
the sinner
that little whore of a sinner
she must be a suck
up
she must be an ignorant fuck
up

you’ve crossed so many lines
through all this time
and i’ve tried
just to make up for my sins
and i’ve sat here for a year and a half
just writing about you
and all the shit you’ve put me through
and i want to make it clear
that i’m that all or nothing girl,
and in the rudest awakening,
you’ve loved me with a twist that tastes like shit

this is the end of life as we know as it

and maybe i was selfish,
because you called me crazy,
made me normal,
named me ‘baby’
and i thought,
get the job,
get the friends,
get the boy,
get the world,
fill up my pool with a hundred little pennies
and damn it if you didn’t let me

but god damn it if i didn’t try for us
i lied, but god damn it if i didn’t lie for us
i turned back when the house was burning black
but i would have burned the whole world for us
and i may have been fucked up in trying to kill myself for love
but at least i had the strength to finally give up

in my search to find some resolution
to find some solution
some absolution
you should have been burning
this is my evolution,
your revolution
for all the shit you say,
every problem you create,
took every song i ever wrote and asked for more than a melody
but everybody knows that this is your apocalypse
and everybody knows that we’ve shared our scars
and now we’re waking up

because i’ve been up and down this road,
i’ve seen signs in that impatient split
and i was there when it finished friday
i’ve exhaled ghosts and inhaled them again
but god dammit
if you’re a different story
you come
around here
try to make me
promises
try to make me
restless
try to make me
regret
try to fuck-fuck-fuck
me up

but there you are as always,
just filling in the holes

something that should have happened so long ago
oh but baby i’ve got a list of names to take
i don’t care what happens to me
because i’ll do it to you before anyone ever fucking does it to me
because i’m taking every word that you ever gave me
and i’m setting it on fire and sending it flaming to hell
and i swear to god nothing i’ve ever been or become
will ever be wasted
the way that we got wasted
just drinking it away all those months.